Questions to Ask Before Choosing a Divorce Mediator

Choosing a mediator is a decision worth taking seriously — this is the person who will guide some of the most significant conversations of your divorce. A short conversation up front, before you commit, usually tells you most of what you need to know.

About their training and experience

• What's your training and certification in mediation specifically?
• How many divorce cases have you mediated?
• Do you have experience with situations similar to mine — a business, complex retirement accounts, a house with significant equity?

About the financial side

Not every mediator has formal financial training. If your situation involves retirement accounts, investment property, or a business, it's worth asking directly:

• Do you have specific training in the financial aspects of divorce, like a CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) designation?
• How do you handle situations where the financial picture is complicated?

About the process itself

• How many sessions do most cases like mine typically take?
• Are sessions in person, virtual, or both?
• What happens if we get stuck on a particular issue?
• Do you work alongside our attorneys, or independently?

About fit

Beyond credentials, pay attention to how the conversation itself feels. Do you feel heard? Does the mediator seem genuinely neutral, or do you sense a lean toward one perspective? Mediation asks you to be vulnerable in front of your spouse and a stranger at the same time — feeling comfortable with that person matters as much as their resume.

There's no wrong number of conversations to have

It's reasonable to talk with more than one mediator before deciding. This is a significant relationship for the length of your case, and taking the time to find the right fit isn't a delay — it's part of setting the process up to actually work.